April 22, 2012
Canterlockdown, II.

I managed to get kitted out, helmet and barding and properly colored fatigues, before anypony else tried to talk to me, and I was getting into my saddle with a bit of help from one of the Sergeants tending the arsenal when First Lieutenant Mane walked in looking weak in the legs and sick in the face.

The colt was a mess, fresh as damn near everypony else in the 107th but with a higher rank and more to do and while he usually did a commendable job keeping on top of things he was showing the stress then.

Strapped in, testing the bit with the safety on against the target-wall, I turned and nodding, letting him get his smaller carbine-saddle on his back before we walked and talked our way back out, to where what was mustered of the 2nd Battery, 3rd Battalion were milling about in loose formation, some already on their clouds, others still flittering about on the ground, all of them just a few minutes away from being able to rain hell down somewhere.

“Gunny. What do I say?” he asked, looking at me and whispering and I didn’t know what to say so I put a hoof to his shoulder and gave him a kind, hopefully knowing, look and that empty goddess damn gesture actually worked.

He nodded, and I nodded, and he trotted off with me following two steps behind.

“Troopers!” he called out, straining his voice just a bit.

“This could be it. Nopony really knows what’s what yet, but it feels big and we’re ready to rock it. I know you’ll make me proud.”

Which, admittedly, wasn’t much in the way of rousing speeches on the eve of battle but it did it’s job well enough and it got a ragged cheer. Somepony threw up, a corporal I think, but I think it was more from nerves than words or anything else.

Me and the First Lieutenant shared another affirming nod as the troops got to it, working off of whatever orders they’d been given before I’d got there or Mane had talked to me.

He, thankfully, gave me the run-down while we moved around to check on everything else, passing groups of MPs and ponies pulling supply wagons, saving me the minor embarrassment of admitting that I didn’t have a damn clue what was going on anymore.

“Brass says Canterlot is facing something. Didn’t say what, but they implied it was bad, and that it could bring big guns to hit the shields with it.” he said, making nervous gestures with his hooves when he could.

“We’re getting up in the air with the rest of the 107th, to see if we can pound back anything that opens up. We’ll need your security teams to run tight patrols and keep constant watch on all the angles of approach. We can’t afford for the batteries to be overrun but you, uh, probably know that already…” he said, trailing off against the mostly impassive gaze of the mask I wore, his confidence faltering as he ran through the probably rehearsed script.

“Understood, sir.”

“Oh. I mean good. Very well.” he fumbled, and I let him recover in silence as we finished our circuit and came back to where the 2nd Battery was almost entirely airborne, guns loaded and ready for anything up to and including an Ursa Major.

Made me proud, to see ‘em all like that, out in force.

12:53pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwK6GKXI
(Notes: 4)
  
April 21, 2012
Canterlockdown, I.

I almost got out of Canterlot before the shield went up.

Almost.

I was all packed and everything. I’d kissed Gideon (though  where I did I won’t say) and gave my goodbyes. I decided to swing by the main gates, register my passage with the guards on shift, and there was an MP there with the tin-hats, directing everypony in uniform back to their posts, waving around a Cancellation of Leave order from the brass.

Some dumb bastards tried to bolt it past them, and while I doubt there’ll be any trials they certainly won’t be flying anywhere anytime soon, not with those kinds of injuries.

By the time I got my chance to talk to them, see what was up, the shield was in place and the whole area was being locked down. Trains being screened, carriages being checked, ponies on foot pulled to the side and all pegasi grounded ‘for the duration’.

Hell, I expected them to kick on the Sirens and start blaring warnings from the emergency address system but they seemed to be keeping it down low, which was good since it stopped there from being a full on civilian panic.

After chatting with the MPs I trotted back, wings folded up at my side, to the base. It was a long walk, and I got a chance to see what was going on in the rest of Canterlot. The Castle was inaccessible, the way up filled with Royal Guards, though the whole city seemed to be flooded with them, shining armor on their backs and ceremonial spears in their hooves, the whole nine yards, seemed like the entire Regiment was out in force.

Met up with a mare, Staff Sergeant Gutsy, who told me she and a bunch of her friends were pulled from a bar on Commons Street, told to pound ground back to wherever they quarters were and to get ready to kit out, which was a bit more severe than I expected.

It wasn’t that surprising, though, given the atmosphere of Canterlot these past few weeks. Lots of drills, lots of checkpoints popping up at the outskirts. Nothing so severe as seemingly calling back all of the soldiers to prepare for what felt like war but things were tense and we could all tell that something was up.

A few more pegasi from the 502nd and a half-dozen odd fliers from other regiments met up with our ad-hoc procession, and we all through Equus’ gates at about the same time.

Goddess, if only you could have seen how frantic it all was… Ponies in uniform running to and fro, lugging gear and tripping over belts of ammunition, zipping low to the ground and moving clouds up and down in the sky, laden with anti-air and air-artillery, whole depots of supplies it looked like being shuffled all around.

Some of the greener wings just sort of looked around with loose jaws and stiff wings while Gutsy and I moved to our staging points, getting out of the way of a few of the Officers that were flying over to give hell to the lookie-loos loitering about in the staging grounds.

While they cursed enough to make an earth pony blush I nodded to Gutsy, took off to where some of the 107th were gathered, a few arty-clouds already floating off above them, ready to shoot or scoot.

One of them shouted “Gunny!” and got a wave, evidently enough push for him to run over and join me as I moved to the lockers in the arsenal building to get my barding and my saddle.

“What is it trooper?” I remember asking, getting a mess of nervous stuttering in response that made me stop, put a hoof to his shoulder and offer some hollow but decent-sounding words about “Doing your duty.” and “Abandoning fear.”, the kind of crap you spew to keep morale up. Seemed to do well enough on the kid though, and he rushed back off to join the squad while I went in and got my shit.

10:17pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwK41J0A
(Notes: 3)
  
Filed under: canterlot rp technically rp 
April 11, 2012
Nesting.

I’m going to meet with one of the Canterlot realtors later today, somepeony that one of the mares at the base set me up an appointment with. The brass at Equus sent down word that I’ll be staying on with my training duties here, though they say I and everypony else on base could get moved out with the force they’ve been raising if they’re short on bodies. I  guess they figure my greenwings ain’t so green anymore and all things considered I’d have to agree. I’ll be flying out there right before I take leave and go out west for a few days, congratulate all of them and put in the final paperwork myself, set all their squads up on the roster and get them on their first deployment.

Bunch of foals, really, but they’ve got strong hearts and steady hooves and I trust that no matter what happens from here on out they’ll do me and the Corps proud, especially Daisy.

That mare, she’s somethin’ else. I see a lot of myself in her, but I see a lot more good there too and I’ll make sure she gets a position as high up on the ladder as I can land her, with recommendation for OCS if she’d like to take it a step further. She’s got it in her to lead, I and everypony else that’s been in the hole with her knows that.

It looks like most of the rest of the 502nd is going to be shuffled around Equestria for a while, reinforcing some of the Guard units in the hot zones and keeping wary eyes towards the Everfree, hopefully with better support now that there’s honest to goddess armor units camped out along Ghastly Gorge. If what’s in there starts up trouble they’ll be able to bring hell and shell down on it, which sets my mind at ease better than anything else.

Hopefully I’ll have a bigger place by the end of the week, and I can move Copper back out. He’ll enjoy spending time with me and Gideon.

3:28pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwJUhNLX
(Notes: 2)
  
April 11, 2012
It was rough.

I made my choice and it tore me up but it’s what I had to do.

I went with Gideon, though I did my best to let Captain down easy. He’s a good pony, and I still have deep feelings for him but I figure Gideon needs me now, more than he needs anything or anypony else.

I’m not with him out of pity though, or just concern, I honestly do love him just as much now as I did when I thought I lost him, but I’d be lying to myself if I said that it wasn’t at least part of my reasoning.

He’s moved in back with me, though the house is cramped. Captain left, but I trust he’ll be back before too long. We’re still friends, and I made sure he knew my home would always be open to him, no matter what.

3:28pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwJUhMll
March 29, 2012
Paramour Problems.

Well, it looks like that happy little bubble I was in finally burst…

I’ve done some awful things in my time. Deplorable, terrible, violent things to ponies and non-ponies alike. Personal and impersonal sins against them, out and out murder in some cases but I always has a justification because I was never doing it for my self, for my own reasons, to further my own goals. I was free to be a bastard because my goal was the safety and security of others, my actions were the result of alternating very vague and incredibly detailed orders.

I wasn’t a bad pony, I was just a good pony who had to do bad things, yeah?

But now… I’ve hurt ponies (and a griffon) in the most deeply personal way. Captain and Gideon now, Comrade before them, others before that… I’m not perfect but that’s not an excuse here, I’m just being selfish and I know it.

When Gideon was gone, when I thought he was dead in a ditch somewhere in the Everfree’s general vicinity, I curled up in Captain’s hooves to find solace, and that worked. I loved him, I still do, as much as I’d loved Gideon though for entirely different reasons. He was there, for me and for Copper, when I needed somepony the most.

But I acted in haste. Weeks later, and Gideon is back… And he still wants me. And I still want him, and I hurt Captain because of it. Or at least, I thought I did. Northern customs are strange to me, yes, but by my values I betrayed him and that’s unforgivable.

I want them both but I know that I have to make a choice, the choice I didn’t have to make when Comrade was still around…

I can’t help but feel like Gideon needs me. I don’t love him out of pity, nothing like that, but I’d worry greatly about him if I just abandoned him. Captain I’d feel better about, but I still want him to be with me…

By the Goddess this is going to be a terrible choice.

10:43pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwInB9Sn
(Notes: 4)
  
Filed under: oh celestia please help me 
March 20, 2012
Training Daze.

The barracks finally filled up to capacity and we’ve begun the laborious, time-intensive process of breaking down the green-wings and trying our darndest to build them back up into something presentable.

It’s easier for some more than others, and damn impossible for a few. We’ve had to accelerate the schedule a bit which has raised concerns, especially from the senior staff on base. We don’t want to worry to be raising up sub-par regiments but if things are as bad as they’re hinting at we’re going to need every pony in the field that we can muster, technical superiority or not, so shortcuts have to be taken and hopefully no mistakes will be made.

I’ve brushed up on the basics of air-artillery a bit, just to be able to help the recruits along if they need it, but it’s been made thankfully clear that my primary objective is simply to train the units in close-quarters engagements. Personal defense, saddle-weapons, the basic security of batteries against direct enemy attacks, which is close enough to the air-assault principles that there wasn’t any sort of learning curve for myself, but it’s been hell on the arty ponies since I’m holding them to a different standard than most of the other sergeants might.

Physically they’re all fit though, mercifully. Lots of pegasi coming straight out of the flight academies with a few hoof-fulls coming from weather teams around the area so there isn’t anypony that we needed to focus on strength-building with.

There is, of course, the concern of trying to teach them new flight patters and to try and undo their natural weather-control responses but it’ll come, in time.

The biggest difference between this and my other stints training at Equus though is the company. Captain, as I’ve said before, came up with me and we’ve shared a bed every night since. It’s nice, to be able to fly home at the end of a brutal day, curl up in bed and know that there’s somepony there who’ll wrap their wings around me for the night.

It helps that he’s also the hottest piece of flank I’ve ever seen, but the cuddling is a big part of it too.

At the rate things are going I’ll be back in Ponyville in a few months time.

1:41am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwIHGHg-
(Notes: 1)
  
March 18, 2012
Copper’s Education.

I’ve flipped and flopped on this issue considerably these last few months, as he’s inched closer and closer to that age.

A part of me wants to shelter him, to direct his life away from the experiences that have tainted my own, to give him what my sire tried to give me.

Still another, however, wishes that he’d follow in my hoofsteps, a part of me that wants to ensure that my foal receives the finest military education that Equestria can offer.

He’d be an Officer, then, something unsurprisingly rare in my family’s history. He may not be able to claim himself a raider in name, but I’d like for him to be the best of us in spirit.

But it’s a dangerous occupation. The psychological stresses are as great, if not greater, than the physical and there are some wounds which do not ever heal, some scars that do not ever fade. I do not know if he would have a happier life avoiding the same paths that most of the rest of my line has pursued but I know that he’d certainly have a more comfortable one.

I wish his mother was still with us. I miss her, during these times most of all, when difficult decisions come about. I wish I had her opinion, had her discussion on the matter.

I’ll put any final decisions off until the last possible moment. That’ll give me some sadly inconsiderable time at least, before I have to commit him to the one school or the other.

6:32am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwIAfm2h
(Notes: 5)
  
March 9, 2012
Relocation.

I’m getting a lot of my stuff packed right now, ready to ship off to the apartment up in Canterlot. Something’s come up, some problem stirring in the Big Mild or something, I don’t have any of the details right now, but whatever it is it needs at least a regiment or two of ponies to be raised to deal with it, and that means ponies like me are being shuffled around back to the training centers.

I got orders to report to Equus for temporary re-assignment from my training unit, attached to the 107th Air Artillery, probably training the tactical response crews or something. A buddy of mine, one of the Sergeants that was heading up a few of the more sensitive SE armament operations in Trottingham, she got called up to so at least there’ll be some friendly faces mixed in with that wobbly-winged lot.

My green-wings are going to go self-sufficient for a while which I guess is just as well, I’ve been meaning to give them a bit more autonomy. They’ll be garrisoning my house again, Daisy Chain’ll be in charge until I get back. Good mare, hopefully she can keep the rest of those lame-legs from destroying the house like they did last time.

I don’t know if I should bring Copper with me on this one. The apartment is small and it only has the one bedroom, and it’s not like there’ll be much for him to do around here. I’ll talk to my parents about it a bit, see if they’d like to take him for a bit longer than usual, Celestia knows they’ll love the time spent with him.

I just… Worry. I don’t want him growing up thinking I was never there for him, I want to be a part of his life and I want him to be a part of mine, but I just can’t seem to find a way to juggle it.

I don’t know if I’m a father or a soldier first yet, and that’s tearing me up inside.

4:37pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwHjaElR
(Notes: 2)
  
February 29, 2012
It seems like Captain is here to stay.

Which is a good thing, a very good thing.

I like the feeling of stability, of being able to fall asleep in somepony’s hooves and know that they’ll still be there, holding you, when you wake up. That they’ll be there the next day, and the day after that, that they’ll be somepony you can rely on to be there.

It’s nice.

And he seems to be getting along great with Copper, which is a blessing in it’s own right. I was so worried, with his mother being gone, that he might resent him, or resent me, but he’s dealing with things well, in his own way. He still doesn’t talk but I’m less worried about that now then I was when he was first born. When he’s something to say, if he has it in him, he’ll talk.

But enough about all that, I’ve got to get off the CloudBook for a bit and clean the house up.

2:15am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwHDtuuX
February 2, 2012
Desk Jockey.

I ran the greenwings through some more training exercises last night, got them as fit as fiddles and pumped as I could but I just can’t help but shake the feeling that I’m not doing right by them. Maybe it’s the fact that there’s no ‘real’ war going on, that all the fights are small-scale exchanges with an APC or a nimbus-trans being the largest piece of equipment fielded or if the quality of recruit is lower these days, but they just don’t feel like an honest-to-goddess fighting force yet.

I had to sign some more materiel requisition forms and finish the equipment-accountment process that I started back at the office up in Equus so I sent them out  for range time and close-quarters drilling, things they can police themselves during and that don’t need me hovering over them.

I’ll try to take them up in the air tomorrow and keep them there for a week at least doing formations and air-assaults but the brass has been riding my flank for weeks to get the rest of the paperwork filed away. With the appropriations meetings being scheduled next month I can’t really blame them, but it’s becoming a choice between getting this training unit into tip-top shape and being able to mark down every single bit spent doing so and that’s not a good situation to find yourself in.

It’s late though, so I guess I’ll just go to sleep now. There’s too much work to actually head home though, so I’ll be bunking down in the barracks for the first time in… Hay, half a year I think.

Time sure does fly, doesn’t it?

6:21am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZeAizwFmHuJ1
(Notes: 1)